I am sick and I am tired.

Very literally. Every second of every moment of every day for the past nearly eleven years.

There is no break from this for me.

Today I’m talking more figuratively than literally, however.

I am so sick and tired of the lack of awareness around many, if not most, chronic illnesses. I’m tired of the misinformation,the stigma,the biases. I’m sick of the judgement and the mistreatment. I am just so very sick and tired.

Recently, I went to the doctor, to my primary care physician. This is a new doctor. My previous PCP dropped me without warning because I had not been to their office in three years. The appointment I had only served as a reminder of why I avoid doctors visits unless absolutely necessary.

I have recently started seeing a naturopathic doctor for mold toxicity/CFS (CIRS, fibromyalgia…the diagnoses do not matter…the symptoms and getting to the roots does). She, the naturopath, asked me to see my primary to get some follow up blood tests and an exam. If her medical director did the exam, I’d have to pay out of pocket. Knowing my financial situation, she was trying to save me money.

Even though I brought my labs that had just been done, showing abnormalities that should be investigated further (suggesting diabetes and possible liver infection), this new PCP refused to do the exam until after he reran the original tests. He also completely ignored my request for him to communicate with my naturopath. Ignored, not refused, he acted like I was not speaking.

To say I’m over our current medical system is an understatement.