I’ve recently bought some Stasher bags so that we can stop using disposable sandwich baggies. They’re a little pricey, so I could only afford to get four. I’ll probably end up getting a few more in the future but this will work well enough for us right now. These are supposed to last for years, so in the long run, the price should be well worth it. I’ll update later and let you know how they’re working out.
In the picture, you might also be able to see that we’ve started composting. I’d still like to do a little research to find out if we have off site composting in my area but as we intend to use it in our garden, we’ve been doing it ourselves. I think many people assume food waste isn’t a big deal (I did). I mean, it’s food, it breaks down, right? What I’ve learned recently, is that food waste doesn’t break down properly in the landfill thus creating methane. Methane is a really potent greenhouse gas so food waste is actually really damaging to the environment.
One last update. I’ve been using period panties for a few years now but I’ve still been using pads as well. I didn’t have enough pairs to change them more than once a day ( the undies). I decided to rectify that problem and bought five more pairs. The ones I already had are Thinx brand. I decided to go with a more environmentally conscious company this time and bought from Kayaness.
I got some reusable grocery bags and some books on living more sustainably.
Originally, I intended to just tell you guys and let you know that I will share any changes that I make in my life attempting to minimize my impact but… Then I saw this.
The tone of the meme suggests that making changes in our personal lives is pointless. We may as well just give up. I call bullshit.
Yes, I absolutely agree that behaviors like flying across the world for cheesecake make a larger impact than someone using paper straws or something similar. I also agree, wholeheartedly that we need to push back against the behaviors of the rich, whether it be celebrities, business’s or government but that doesn’t mean we just give up.
I believe every little bit counts but also, it’s the right thing to do. If you’re saying well Kim Kardashian is doing x,y or z so I don’t have to do anything, you’re just as bad as they are, in my opinion.
This is an argument that I see come up a lot…More of the problem is coming from big business so individual action is futile, we should be lobbying our representatives instead of reducing our impact. If that is what you are called to do, please do that. However, for me it seems the opposite. I can’t see the government or any business making any changes unless or until they see that the public wants it. How do we show that we want it? By living the change. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Join me or don’t but please, for the love of God, don’t just sit there twiddling your thumbs while calling out other people. That helps no one.
I went to the zoo the other day, which by the way, is massive in terms of my healing. But anyway, I went to the zoo and I’m pretty sure that someone, a fellow zoo visitor, referred to me as a whale.
I posted this on Facebook awhile back…
This came up in both my memories and my sister’s. We talked about it, you know, haha weren’t we cute. Then she said something that surprised me. She said that my arms look so skinny that I look so small. I am 15 here and 132lbs. How do I know that? The 132lbs part? Because I thought I was so fucking fat. Honestly, I can tell you how much I weigh in damn near any picture of me. I’m more likely to know my weight than my age. I have never been comfortable in my skin unless I weighed between 110 and 122(preferably not over 118). I am currently obese. There are no pictures of me because I can not stand to look at myself. Not only am I overweight but I have severe diastasis recti, my abdominal muscles are separated, deformed and I look very pregnant. I have an understanding of why my body is the way it is currently. The diastasis recti was caused by a lack of energy, my body is unable to convert food into energy in the way that a body is meant to combined with a C-section that caused the muscle to be unable to move and kept them in their separated position. My body overcompensated to get my son here healthily. I am incredibly grateful for this. Many people who suffer from mold illness gain a lot of weight and are unable to shed it. I forget the technicalities of what is happening in the body (though I can find articles that explain it). Mycotoxins store themselves in fatty tissue and the body basically convinces itself that it is starving to death in order to gain fat and prevent the mycotoxins from storing in the brain causing brain damage (this is why liposuction is a legit detox treatment for some people with mold illness). I am also grateful for this as well. There is no good reason that I was able to get my son here healthily or that I am even still alive except that my body is amazing and it did what it needed to in order to protect me and Eli. Miraculous. Yet, knowing this I still cannot stand to look at myself and going in public is hard. I’m filled with shame. I am 15 in this picture and about to start dating the boy, who became the man, who is now my ex husband. The boy who referred to my stomach as squishy…pudgey. I am 15 here and I’ve already lived through years of my mother hovering over me while I ate, making comments about how I didn’t want to end up fat like her. I am 15 here and about a year away from anorexia and decades of disordered eating. I am 15 here and 132lbs I am 15 and my worth was not, is not, will never be determined by my weight or body shape… But I didn’t know that. We need to do better.
I absolutely believe that… That my worth, your worth, anybody’s worth, is not determined by the shape or size or anything else having to do with our bodies. And… I so badly do not want to be bothered by that comment… The one in which I was compared to a whale. I mean, the comment really is not a reflection of me but of the commenter. It says nothing of my character but a lot about his.
I want the comment to roll off of me like water, having no affect. I want it to be a non issue, unimportant but…It did affect me. It hurt. And honestly, I spent a good deal of time berating myself for that fact.
How dare I be concerned about something so insignificant when there are real problems to worry about? Things that affect everyone, not just myself. Most notably, in my mind at the moment, the environment… climate change… Mama Earth. I should be using my energy to figure out ways that I can change… That I can help (I’ve been using more sustainable/non toxic products more and more but that’s not enough!), not worrying over an insignificant… unimportant comment about my weight.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that it is important. It’s like I said in my Facebook post… We need to do better. It is important that we, all of us humans, grow up knowing our worth. Not just intellectually but in our bodies. It’s important that we know it to and through our bones. That it resonates in our thoughts and feelings, minds and hearts. That we are at home, at peace with ourselves. People who feel good, do good.
Conversely, people who feel bad are more likely to do bad or at least become complacent, not believing that they are significant enough to make a difference. Or like Mr Judgemental Commenter, to spread more of the same… Not seeing others as human, as deserving… seeing others as separate.
We’re not… separate… Not really. We are in this thing, this life together and just like we do all need to do better in the ways in which we treat our planet, we also need to do better in the ways we treat each other and ourselves. I’m not sure the two are mutually exclusive. I think they may actually be the same thing.
I finished reading No Impact Man by Colin Beavan. I am sobbing. I’m talking full on body shaking, convulsing, cathartic sobbing.
When I was looking through the reviews for this book on Goodreads, I was surprised. While it received many more positive reviews, there were a surprising number of one star ratings, complete with negative reviews. There seems to be a lot of criticism of the author himself for not initially knowing seemingly simple solutions to eco problems (like diapers or tissues) and writing about his personal revelations during the project.
I do not agree. The point of the project, of the book itself, was for Colin, a regular dude and his family to reduce the negative impact his family is having on the environment as much as possible. The point was to figure it out as the project progressed and write about the impact that had on him and his wife and daughter. To me, it seems, mission accomplished.
Regardless of whether or not you liked the book or the author himself, it does highlight things we should all be concerned with. Is the life you’re currently living, the life that you truly want to be living? Do all of the things you do and buy and consume and support really make your life better? Is this way of life that we are living worth our health…our happiness…our fucking planet?
For me, the answer is no. I need to start to do things differently.
I’ve just started reading No Impact Man by Colin Beavan. The book follows a man and his family, over a year, while they try to lower their impact on the environment to virtually nothing. I bought this book because I’ve read other life as experiment books and enjoyed them and I was hoping to pick up some tips on decreasing my impact.
This is something that I think about a lot. And when I say think about, what I actually mean is panic. There are so many changes that I’d like to make, feel like I need to make, that my illness gets in the way of.
Things like making my own self care products, shopping locally, walking instead of driving… Are all rendered impossible when you don’t even have the energy to get through the basics of living on a daily basis.
I am constantly telling myself to focus on my healing. The more I heal, the more I will be able to do and the more I will be able to live a life aligned with my values. This is true, but… The guilt I feel…. And the panic…
*Sigh* One day at a time, one foot in front of the other…
